Blinded By Evil

March 1, 2011

I’ve read the bible very rarely in my lifetime. I’ve heard of a bunch of the stories, read a few, saw them on TV and involved myself in many a conversation that was based on a few of them.

I always hear that the bible has stories for anything in life no matter the situation, time or place. There is something in there for anyone. I wonder if there was a story in there for the shit I just went through.

Picture going through jobs one by one, leaving them because of various levels of ignorance and stupidity. The air of arrogance from the rich, the high schoolish behavior of the blue-collar bosses who try to hold you to high standards when they’re staring at porn in the sanctuary of their offices. These people affect your money, make you miserable, and they do it with no remorse for your situation and categorize you in a senseless caste system of white and blue-collar snobs. Maybe race is a factor, maybe it’s where you’re from, the New York boy being told what class is by the hob nobs from an area that folks in the lower east side would laugh at and dismiss as peons. The short Jersey boy happy to have any sense of power and takes it out on you because if the insecurities caused because of the New York New Jersey conundrum.

To you these people are the ills of the world, the evil that manifests itself and seeps into your pores and poisons you by casting judgment on others just like them. They make you angry, curse God, depressed, filled with anxiety and ware you down. They are the most dangerous evil in your opinion because it is so far in the open that it cannot be anything but diabolical.

Then all of a sudden here comes an angel sent by God to rescue you from your personal purgatory. A place far away from the constant eyes of judgment being cast upon you from the last few places of business that left your soul tattered. They dress like the people that haunted you run by the man from Jersey, but they are prettier, neater, more pleasing to the eye.

Instead of browbeating you they complement you, build you up, tell you to smile even when you don’t want to. Why do you smile? Because you’re shown a different form of love than what you’re used to and you feel that a smile is owed. Even on days when you can’t smile you do just to please them.

You’re hypnotized by everything that surrounds you. The food smells better than what you’re used to. The aromas of food put a spell on you that you’ve never felt before. Things that were once disgusting to you are sweet. A simple mixture of dough and cheese that was similar to childhood favorite of yours is now even more pleasing to taste. They encourage you to eat more, more bread, more tantalizing fish, more succulent meats, and more ecstatic sweets. The more you eat the more you fall in love. The more you love where you are. You love every aspect of your surroundings, the quiet open space, the smell of smoke in the air, the constant tastes of wine that make you feel as if everyday is a celebration.
You fall for your superiors. You’ve always been suspicious of women that are lascivious and men of your ilk that beg for the acceptance of those lighter than them, but you ignore those facts. Even when you sense an eerie feeling that arises every so often whether it’s the air from the day that covers you with uncomfort or the stirring from your gut that sickens you, you ignore it.

You know things are wrong but you still do them. The extra back breaking work for nothing more than a pat on the back, the fact that you’re on your knees wiping the fecal matter of others than you serve, the lack of personal pleasures and the knowledge that others are suffering while you are prospering… it’s all put into perspective. You come up with reasoning, “if they worked liked me…” “If they did this…” all become part of your daily vocabulary. You never think as to why they don’t feel the same level of heaven as you. To you this is what you’ve been craving; respect, happiness, opportunity and you feel its right for the moment.

You have plans, things you want to do, ways you want to live. You have everything set in front of you, the way you want to live, things you want to accomplish. You’ve figured out what’s best for you and the blueprint that works…

Then one day the wool gets pulled from over your eyes.

The people who you whored yourself for, that you trusted, that you did extra for to benefit there name betrayed you. The angels were devils, false prophets. Those smiles were used to cover up the sorrow that you would soon be bludgeoned with. The extra work was to wear you down so you couldn’t fight the oncoming danger. Those internal feelings you ignored were warnings, signs telling you that your heaven will soon be hell. This isn’t salvation this is Babylon.

Your opinions now mean nothing, the hard work you though would elevate you actually dug you deep into a hole. You were punished for doing the right things and now everything that you felt was right has veered to the wrong with no sign of a happy return.

The words that were uttered to you are now torturous, lies, deceitful. These people robbed you of what you earned and who you are. The truth arises that the people who greeted you smiles and hugs were planning on stabbing you in the back and expected you to do the same things that you’ve done with that knife sticking out and the blood still wet. If you complain you are banished, if you stay you continue to work for the devil. If you leave there is no guarantees that you will be all right. You’re stuck.

The mood changes from everyone around you. The smells that were once lively now deepen your depression, the bread that you once cherished sickens you, the sweets are now sour, and the meats once tender are tougher than shoe leather. The people who you trusted are now your enemies. Instead of help they ignore you, instead of being complementary they instill anxiety inside of you. They used you and now look for reasons to dismiss you because it’s clear that you are not part of the team. Thinking for yourself is no longer allowed instead it is banished. If you violate their rules then you are left to float in the wind until you perish.

Now you have to find a way out. You search in secret leaving no stone unturned, you seek out old friends, options, maybe there is an angel that actually wants to help you succeed and let you live how you want to instead of hoe they want to. You encourage other to join in your search, you let your guard down and let others in to hear your plans and trust that they will take heed and support. Unfortunately it is all for naught. There is no escape for you. You are trapped. To make matters worse, the enemy now has spies and has corrupted a once healthy system.

The people that you trusted have conspired against you; they have spread your word and have done so to strengthen their grip on what feels like their only option. They’ve been blinded and they too have placed another blade deep into your skin and close to your heart.

Finally the day comes in a time of holiness when the people who use his name in vein to punish those who try and disrupt their evil overshadow the celebration of the birth of a king who preaches love, helpfulness and caring. This is where you meet your end. You have done nothing wrong. You were lied to, cheated, stolen from, snitched on… but you are at fault. What you did to help in the past is overshadowed by how you tried to tear down their future in their deceitful eyes. You are a troublemaker, outcast, bottom feeder and you will be made an example of. Its over, you’re taken out of a society with no say, no care of who you are or what you will do. They never cared about you, they were never your salvation, and they used you for their personal gain and threw you out like rotten meats or spoiled eggs.

As you walk away into a haze of uncertainty you remember your previous places of work and wonder, maybe that wasn’t true evil but rather just common conflicts that arise from people that are so far apart. Their problems were open, but these evils were hidden, plotted and planned. Now you wonder, how did it end up like this?

I thought I was doing the right thing and ended up on the wrong end of it all. I fell for the beauty and didn’t think about the consequences. I was a fool; a fool easily blinded and tried to escape when it was too late. I should read the bible more, I am sure there’s a story like that in there somewhere.

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